Wellington, NZ – The Move That Couldn’t Be

Lately this travel blog has become an avenue to share my most indecisive moments — it turns out I have a flare for committing to things and then suddenly veering off course. In the last year alone I have 1.) Moved to Australia with intentions to stay long-term, and then left after five months — & 2). Canceled a United Airlines flight attendant interview at the last minute so I could travel through Southeast Asia. And now? — just one **week** after moving to the capital city of New Zealand for a second working holiday visa I’ve decided Nope, I’m heading home.

Like, who does that?

But don’t make any assumptions about the city of Wellington quite yet. I came to adore the Kiwi capital and my time there was incredibly enjoyable. Sitting on a bay at the bottom of the north island of New Zealand, Wellington is striking both in its geographical location and for the Victorian architecture. The city of San Francisco immediately comes to mind. But unlike SF, Wellington is in no way pretentious, and there is nothing iconic about it. The population is only 200K, yet the city boasts an impressive public bus system — on any given road in the CBD you can probably spot 6+ buses shuttling people into the hillside neighborhoods. Nature and parks throughout the capital are never too far away, with hiking trails connecting the entire city, occasionally passing alongside the picturesque Victorian homes. Wellington is also a student city, and it thus has a very young and energetic vibe. It’s a place where people can dress and be exactly who they are without being subjected to the judgment that much of the world would cast on them. I’ll never forget my first night seeing a man with a large accordion strapped to his chest as he shopped at the New World supermarket … casual, I thought. Perhaps most of all I was struck by how queer Wellington is. As one of my new friends put it, “it’s almost boring to be just gay here these days”. For me, Wellington checked almost every box for the type of city I’d want to live in, which is precisely why I moved here — but sadly I was unable to commit to it (or anywhere else in New Zealand for that matter).

First things first, my move was plagued by a tropical system that left rainy, and unseasonably cold weather in town. (Wellington being the so-called “windiest city on earth” didn’t really help matters). More than half my trip I was stuck in my hostel, with little to do other than visit the few *free* museums in town and mingle with other backpackers. (In fact, when the weather was good it was actually sooo good that I quickly forgot the prior misery). But I am in no way blaming the weather for my leave. No, it was other personal circumstances. My real apprehension began as I started my search for casual jobs (hospitality, hotel reception, etc) while also looking into the freelance classical music scene to find work in my field.

The thing is, I thought I learned my lesson last year in Australia. Hospitality work is not for me, and although it gave me fresh perspective and gratitude it also taught me that I needed to devote my energy to pursuing full-time orchestra work. This was the primary reason I left Oz. At that point the whole concept of the “working holiday visa” should have left me, but then came the opportunity to do another visa in New Zealand. I thought — “what a cool place to live out the rest of my 20’s” — even though I dreaded the prospect of supporting myself again through mostly non-musical work.

I knew probably four or five days in that I had made the wrong decision to come back to New Zealand, but in hindsight I don’t regret trying. I had taken a lot of steps to begin settling in — I introduced myself on musician Facebook pages in the city, hoping to network with wedding gig contractors and other freelancers. I too began the process of opening a NZ bank account. I even had a trial shift set up at a seafood restaurant along the bay (which I eventually cancelled). Had my attempts to network in the music scene yielded more than likes or welcomes I probably would have felt differently. It became very apparent that other than the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra there was not a very present classical music scene in Wellington (although alternative and rock music seemed very big). There probably is freelance classical work, but who knows how long it would have taken to break into. I kept thinking back to Sydney last year, where one such Facebook introduction yielded three immediate gig offers. Here in Wellington it didn’t seem worth it to wait tables while I hoped for other work to come.

Musically speaking, I have an increasing resume-gap, one that if ignored much longer will leave me too far removed from the industry (and out of practice). So in coming to terms with my current situation I decided that my move to Wellington would be shifted simply to a visit — not unlike any other of my brief but long-haul trips. I decided that in returning home my ambitions would return to taking orchestra auditions.

The real difficulty in leaving Wellington was mourning this chapter ending before it had the chance to develop. There were a few days that I felt really low, ashamed of myself for giving up … or for failing at the move. After all, it has been my dream to move to New Zealand for four years. Thankfully with some time and better weather I came to feel better, and I tried to absorb as much of the city as I could. During these two weeks I met so many locals, and this really enhanced my understanding of the city while additionally softening the blow of this leave. It was easy to envision a life here where I could thrive in every way, but in my career. I had to trust that in letting go of that I would still find it elsewhere (career goals included).

I came into this trip while finishing a perplexing show on Netflix called The OA, which is all about parallel dimensions and that sort of thing. Furthermore I’ve also had the idea of The Butterfly Effect on my mind. Who knows where this unexpected change of direction is going to take me … I can only hope for a full time orchestra job! — There’s numerous auditions in the coming months between America, Europe, and Asia, so I feel motivated about being busy. Staying in NZ would have led to beautiful memories, but I’ve gone on traveling the world at the expense of my career for too long. Now I want a more settled lifestyle … I want to rent again, to enjoy the simple pleasures of buying furniture at IKEA, and to have a stable job I feel passionate about. This is in no way an end to my traveling, but perhaps just the beginning of better travels ahead.